;an abstracted state of absorption
lost in thought.
in trance.
that’s what i always wanted to be…
but when will that be?
when all i’ve got to do is to look up
to the vast space.timeless.unaltered.
my paper
let me finish it first.
and when i do,
allow me to leave
and don’t hold me back.
allow me.
i have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast
forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold…
++the power of imagism:my favorite imagist poem, as of this moment…salamat ke mam merlie++
it’s been quite a while since i last updated my blog. and im really sad not having the right motivation to fill it up juz like what i used to do with it. i guess losing someone really close to you is enough to explain this sudden waning of my passion.
i haven’t seen him for a long time. haven’t heard anything. but i guess that was a good thing not having to talk about the person who used to put a smile across ur day. some good things really don’t last forever. and perhaps that was the most brilliant idea to take as of this moment.
but despite that tragic end, i still would want to experience the same great feeling.but i can’t go back now. i guess GOD rili has other plans for me and that he’s slowly giving it to me and taking away those things which i think He thinks i don’t rili nid to bring to where i am bound to go.
when HE tried to let me understand his signals that i had to move on instead of lamenting over a cup of bitter coffee, HE gave someone better whom i can fall back on…HE does move in mysterious ways…
she was my film class professor, theater arts and acting mentor, rare, one of its kind in the country. am not even a good student of her class but since she always hav sumthing good to say about your works, you’ll believe you’re really good at it…
i call her my glamorous fortress today. we may not have shared a very long time together, GOD let our paths cross at a certain point when we both joined forces to fight for our common goal. and during those fateful days, she stood by me and surprisingly, i am sharing with her today, perhaps the most crucial days of my life, that only she and myself knows why…
and now, i can only thank HIM for bringing her closer to me…ΓΌ
i have been back in my hometown for nearly a month now…it feels so good when u get to set foot on the soil where u actually grew up; be with the people who have majorly the reason for your, well, success or failure–however u wanna look at where u are standing now…it does feel good to come back, even if tacloban and biliran already are my "home" now…
i had this thing of climbing up the roof at night even when i was small, to see the skyscrapers of makati, be endlessly proud that, well, i am a true blue batang makati.and there i wud usually, apart from looking at the makati skyline, would lay down looking at the sky..be once agen enchanted by the moon and the stars..and now, to be able to call thru suncellular which i cant normally do inside the house..one, bcoz the conversations are quite private and two the signals kinda weak, it doesnt reach my fon when am inside the haus[or perhaps we have this superduperintergalacticmegalomaniac gi sheets that prevents the network from reaching my fon]..
even in tacloban, the night brings a certain inspiration upon seeing the moon, especially when it’s at its full phase[no, am not a "lunatic" who goes around hunting people at night during fullmoon to drink blood.] but tonight, its gonna b different. there’ll be no moon. he won;t be around; he won’t haunt me in my dreams; he won’t be there, i tell you…coz i chose not to let him in.
he’s gone now. forever.
*matagal ko na itong naisulat…nakalimutan ko na rin ang purpose ko sa pagsulat nito at kung ano ang pakiramdam ko nung sinusulat ko ito…ganunpaman…heto cia at binasa mo.salamat.
¤kung ang maynila me roxas blvd..kmi d2 s leyte me magsaysay blvd..
e2 n ata ang pnakamagandang lugar d2 s tacloban para s akin at ke maphene..
ewan ko ba, pro bukod s and2 ang up, na s ksawiang palad e eskwelahan ko, pero s bawat aspeto cguro ng buhay kong me knalaman s pag.ibig at kasawian, saksi ang daang i2 ng lahat ng yon..¤
bukod s snabi ko ngang and2 ang up, and2 dn s daang ito ang boy scouts ofis, anong meron dun?ako lng ang me alam..at cla lng dn ang makakaintindi…
d2 s daang ito, araw araw ko ciang nkikita mula s bintana ng opisina nia.bagaman alam niang buhay ako, at alam din niang me pgtingin ako s kanya..masyado lng ata tlgang mpanghusga ang lipunan..kya,sbi ko s srili ko, tama na to, uwi nlang ako. bka s next life, mkasama ko rin sia.. biruin mo, pati next life pinatos ko n rin..pero matagal ata un mangyari…
e2 n nman ang isa. d2 ako mdalas lumakad s madaling araw.hndi nio naitatanong, dagat po ang katabi nito. d2 ko snasabi s sarili ko ang lahat ng mali ko.o kung bakit ako ngsasaya ngaun. para ngang baliw minsan, pro dun ko nsasabi ang dpat kong ilabas, kc s daang ito, hndi ako pagatatawanan..hndi ako huhusgahan. mkikinig lng sia.hanggang s mapagod na rin ako at umuwi.
d2 s daang ito, nkakasabay ko ang dyaskeng lalakeng yon. oo nga, siya n nga.me ice cream n dala minsan, minsan nman wla lng. dala lng ang mbibigat nming dala.dalahin para sabay n itapon sa kankabatok.. ang corny no?pero oo, alam kong tunay yun. ewan ko nga lng kung ano nangyari..
kc d2 sa daang ito ko rin siya huling nkita. at nkausap ng maayos..nwala n lng ba ng bigla..pero ngkikita p rin kmi.hndi nga lng ngpapansinan.
sna ang daang ito na ngdala ng lahat ng ito sa akin at siyang magdala s akin pabalik s kanya. o kung hndi n tlga pwede,,,sna mkapaglakad ako ulit d2….nang hindi nagiisa.
