thinking out loud...

bat kaya walang malaking bote ang Yakult? :P

omg...

in reference to the previous blogpost, I was oblivious to the fact that today, while I was photo-grabbing, recollecting and sorely missing my college block, same day, three boring years ago, we were wearing the immaculate dresses and barong for Ran and proud sablays and then that snapshot was taken.

three fucking years ago.

that probably explains the sudden surge of melancholia...or for some emo-ness...

sighing out loud...

while my boss is 2 meters away from my station, and here i am pretending to be doing something really important, I grabbed this pic from maphene's blog and start my way back to the sorely missed moments of our fortywinking lives...







to the characters (still) in search of their authors...

post-something depression (probably caused by the recession...he he..rhyming...)

things i realized over the weekend (and some sidelights):

- Celine Dion is (was) my all time favorite artist; I watched her A New Day... performance and was awed. Or maybe awed is the understatement of the year.

- Celine Dion is my all time favorite artist; I was browsing through my aged autographs back in gradeschool, and there, written all over, was her name, Celine Dion, Favorite Singer.

- Celine Dion is my all time favorite artist; most especially because she sang "My Heart Will Go On" which happens to be the love theme of the film Titanic, which I watched 7 times in theatres back in 1998. (the first time I watched it, in Megamall, last full show, forgetting that the next day was my high school entrance exam in UST high. I got accepted though. My last name was the only one listed under letter "R")

- Celine Dion is my all time favorite artist; and after watching A New Day..., i realized I was having my post-Celine Dion depression.

- And I realized, after recognizing it, that whenever I get the chance to watch something extravagant, spectacular and "too big for my eyes" performances, I get depressed. I dunno how a post-partum depression feels but I bet it's somehow similar (hihee)...

- that I also had post-Loren Legarda depression, post-Meryl Streep depression, post-Mamma Mia depression, post-Sisterhood-of-the-Travelling-Pants-because-of-the-Santorini-location depression, post-EDSA-One-file-footage watching depression, post-Hacienda-Luisita-massacre-footage-watching depression...

haaay...how the great psychotic mind works...

kunsabagay...

napaisip lang ako,
habang ka-chat ko si daki sa facebook kanina,
nasabi kong,
bumili ako ng bagong damit,
para sa concert-tribute,
para ka tatay ed sa diliman,
na puno ng mga awiting,
masasaya,
makabuluhan,
madamdamin,
at nakapagpapaalala,
sa buhay at kung paano,
nabuhay ang tatay ed,
at kung paano,
sa mga sandaling yaon,
ay hindi dapat iyakan,
ang pangugulila sa kanya,
bagkus,
ay sumabay sa indayog,
sa tugtog at saka kumanta,
at magpasalamat,
na minsan,
ako,
siya,
naging bahagi ng buhay,
ng mga buhay naming isa't isa,
dahil kung hindi duon,
wala sanang concert-tribute,
hindi sana ako bibili,
ng bagong damit,
na mababanggit kay daki,
sa chat namin sa facebook,
dahil wala naman akong
ganung maiisip...


march 23, 2009
9.10 am cdt

Race to Starbucks; Race for Something I Really Want. *or I maybe I thought I wanted.

For the past 4 days, I have been racing to and fro every Starbucks branch in Makati to find this stupid green tumbler that I have seen last Friday from Standard Chartered. It was the last piece of its kind in SC Starbucks but since they would not accept my 500 Sodexho GCs as payment, which I got for being the Top Supervisor for my pod last February, I had to leave it and went home sulking.

That night, my colleague Febes agreed to have her Starbucks GCs be exchanged for my Sodexho's for which she gives to her bankers whenever they get 2 straight hundred surveys. So I had my life straightened now. Tomorrow, I said, the tumbler is mine.

I was excited to take home the tumbler the next day so I arranged my pick up point for the shirts that CJ ordered in Standard Chartered Starbucks and to my dismay, Starbucks was closed on a Saturday. Perfect.
So I raced back to PeopleSupport where my team was patiently waiting for me to tell them that we could finally ride a bus going to Fairview as we were to spend the weekend in Bhadz home and off to LaMesa Ecopark on Sunday. So I checked the Starbucks in our building, no green tumbler; crossed Gil Puyat and checked Starbucks The Columns, no green tumbler; final destination: Starbucks RCBC, still no trace of the freaking tumbler. I had no choice but to go back even as I thought that there are still a couple more of Starbucks branches in Ayala-- Makati being the city with the most number of Starbucks branches in the country. I had to go back. My team was waiting.

A few more hours, 60 pesos worth of travel from Ayala to SM Fairview, we opened their Starbucks branch with coffee jellies, frap, green tea and some pastries but I got the same frustration as they also no longer have the green tumbler that I slowly turn to some search of the Holy Grail.

I managed to keep the tumbler quest off my mind for the meantime. I was, after all, picnicking barbecueing and having the time of my life with my superstars, my team. Over barbecue and Zipline in LaMesa Ecopark, I was able to forget the darn tumbler until Monday, when I had to replenish my tshirt stocks for orders and had to go to Greenhills. I was going to check the Starbucks branch and restart with my new found profession now until I noticed while flipping through my Belle de Jour planner that I left the GCs at home. Great, I muttered. I didn't bother to check Starbucks, as the addage, What you don't know won't hurt you, reminded me.
On my way back, which originally I planned to go straight to the office, I had to go back home to get the GCs and drop by Standard Chartered to finally get the tumbler. So I did. Only, the last mug that I was holding 3 days ago was no longer in their racks.

At this time, I knew that fate was doing intervening and I had no plans of retreating. A few minutes after I said Hello to my team, infuriated and frustrated, I crept out of the building to again check the Starbucks stores close to where I work. PeopleSupport, The Columns, RCBC, Valero, Insular, Security Bank, dela Rosa, Makati Stock Exchange-- walking! Finally, upon reaching MSE, and gazing up Makati Shang, I realized that I have gone so far not to continue walking until I reach Greenbelt and Glorietta. I remembered Starbucks 6750, the first ever Starbucks in the country, how could they not possibly have it? But yeah, it's possible for they also didn't have what I was looking for. Determined not to get back to the office tired and empty handed, I started counting the Starbucks left for me to go to. Greenbelt 3, Glorietta 4 and the one in Rustan's. I decided to go to the one in Rustan's, right beside the Lacoste boutique. And there, a few meters away, I could see green stuff waving at me-- I knew I have found it.

--

I wanted the tumbler so much that I had to pursue to find it up to this far. The more that I get frustrated about not getting it, the more driven I was to aim and get it. And when I know I can do anything to get it, I am sure, I am going to have it sooner than everyone else expects it.

--

I was for the longest time looking for love. Some said it can be found somewhere, just around the corner. I said, then, I must be walking in circles.

I wanted to have one like everyone else.

I am 23 years old, and my society is expecting for me to have one. It is dictating that it is but not normal not to have someone by your side at this time of my life. And that this, could be my sweetest escape against people accusing me of being a person belonging to the third sex. *no I don't have issues with them, only, I am really not one of them.

Or maybe not.

Because if I did, I could have run after it the same way that I did to the darn tumbler which now I fill with distilled water from the pantry.

Yes. Maybe not. Not at all.



March 17, 2009

yesterday's dream

I'm singing/typing this song based on memory.

I have known this song even before figuring out which one is the dividend or the divisor, what is the subject in the sentence 'Run." and long before crushes came and gone. chos.

We have sung this in every school program I can think of-- I mean everything, ultimo Buwan ng Wika.
The then super sikat *i think* na singing group 14k sang this. One of them, Ate Donnagift, came from the public school where I came from. Her mom was probably the best music teacher I had in my whole schooling days. Although, I only had a few, because Mrs. Leony Malbas was practically my music teacher in my enire gradeschool years. That explains it.

So here it is:

Yesterday's Dream

We are the children
Of yesterday's dream
We are the promise of the future we bring.

Waving the banner
Of love to all
THrough every nation
The rich and the poor.

refrain
We are the world
OF the restless and young
And we need a hand
to guide us.

Helping each other
Bulid each other
As long as we're together
You and me.

For together we stand
Divided we fall
Together we climb to
the top of the World.

We can be what we want
For the world to see
That we are the children
of yesterday's dream.

We have the yearning
to do what is best
Be someone special
from all the rest.

Nation and brothers and unity
Building tomorrow
for you
and for me

repeat refrain...

We are the dream came true
We are the children
Of yesterday's dream...



*or maybe something to that effect. i never really saw a copy of the REAL lyrics. I just sang it by how I heard it. :P