Last Hurrahs for 2008

new year's eve. 2008. while everyone's happily dining and partying, I, together with my 2 loyal direct reports-- Shaun and Rae are in the office--me, tinkering my files to check how many bankers called in "sick"(reason: tooth extraction--why would you have your freakin' tooth be extracted on new year's eve?no this is not my banker's excuse), while my two minions, Rae and Shaun, were busy taking calls.

I was able to update my Facebook account, signed up for Plurk.com, edited my avatar, chat in Meebo, browsed my Multiply site, emailed my friends abroad and stare out of the makati skyline and the drool over the party and fireworks display in Ayala. no im not bitter. because after all, had I stayed at home, I would have hit the sack as early as ten pm. at least, i have the chance to say these last Hurrahs for the year 2008, a year that was.

I don't and I never do new year's resolutions. If I think of something to change for the new year, I just usually keep it to myself so I won't get Boo-ed for not complying. And afterall, since when did new Year's resolution became part of our life's deliverables? he he. But for this year, I only have two things in mind which perhaps I could revisit every now and then to see if I'm doing an improvement on. No let's not tag them as New Year's Resolutions, because for a relatively long time now, I have been trying to apply these in my daily rituals. Maybe I could just reinforce and empower it's influence. huwaat? :P :

First, Make other people's lives easier.
Second, which I could better phrase in Filipino: "kung hindi ako makakabawas, huwag na akong dumagdag.."


there. Good Luck to me and Happier and Better Year for all of us :P

when I asked...

I asked for rain
and it came.

I asked for sunlight
and it came.

I asked for love--

and it rained...

VintageSanrio.Com

My insatiable passion for vintage stuff and anything that has previous relations to kitty.

ehehehe.

I found this site which has posts of really old and some even defunct characters of the Sanrio clan. I signed up for an account and it seems that we are the only two human beings in the website.

Anyway, just sharing. You might come across the names, Zashikibuta (whom my friend Gladys doesn't recall how it looks like), Tuxedo Sam, Tiny Candy and a whole lot more...and maybe, just maybe if you're not that busy, you can sign up for an account. :)

Spread the word to your Sanrio-Addict friends like me: VintageSanrio.Com

Karen's Wishlist

It's been years since I got presents that were willfully given--willfully meaning, chosen and given by someone wholeheartedly, chosen presumably, by your friend or relative who thinks that the gift embodies the whole of your personality. yeah. whatever.

Let's say a book, maybe because you're a bibliophile, or you're a literature major like me who had no other choices but to read and read books; or a set of smashbox cosmetics because you just can't leave your room without it; a spatula, teflon pan or an electric egg beater so you won't borrow your classmates' during your culinary class. It was then when Tita Marci suspects that you're Barbie's worshipper and back then when Baby All Gone was what it takes for you to belong in the Upper Class Girls. :) They chose it, simply because they think you'll love it, or at least they assumed you will.

In high school and college, particularly now that I am in the corporate jungle, exchange gifts would mean writing your "wishlist" in the big empty whiteboard along with your other teammates, making sure that it's no beyond P500 worth, the amount that you have agreed upon. Looking at it, Manito-Manita has just become, "kindly-look-for-this-certain-book-with-this-author-from-the-bookstore-and-buy-it-for-me" thing. My point? Nothing. It's just the world, according to me, has become less personal, fast-paced that we gave up knowing people because, after the 13th month pay, she'll resign and transfer to another company anyway, and senseless, because according to my arch enemy Voltron, Christmas is a senseless construct imposed to us by the imperialists and colonialists to make sense out of the senselessness of human existence. i honestly don't know where he got that but it's but one of the very few days when he is making sense.

Jaberring.

My point really in writing this is to tell the world what I want for Christmas.

So you, if you're planning to give me one this Christmas, won't have a hard time looking for one.

ha ha.

1. Mamma Mia DVD! *i heard it comes with a free pen and notepad*

2. 8gb iPod touch (nawawala ba to sa mga Wishlist?)

3. or 160gb iPod video (alternative. preferably silver)

4. HI-Cut Chucks with Red Riding Hood print

5. (still) Nikon d40 or a lomo for that matter

6. Harajuku Printed Hoodies

7. Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera; Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer; 20 Love Poems and a Song of Despair by Pablo Neruda; Living to Tell the Tale by Garcia Marquez;

8. Blush Tokidoki for Smashbox

9. Pixel Chix!

10. Barbie, My Fair Lady Collection

i think that's all for now. :P

Ode to Raama and Sita*

*my two goldfish



worry not of hunger
for Tetra will provide.

worry not of coldness,
for your water will remain warm and calm

worry not of air
for it will never cease to gurgle and bubble...

your glass globe will protect you,
and keep you,
while you--oblivious to the outside world.


december 19, 08
makati

If I Will Write Melai a Letter, I Would Probably Tell Her These...

-- that I didn't mean to scare her. I should never have told her at all. That if I had one thing I could still "recall" like as that of an email, erroneously sent, I could have just recalled the message. Had I known that that fateful evening would drive her farther away from me, I could have just kept it. And let it die with the person.

--that I did not try to stalk her; And that I have no reason to stalk her. I was overwhelmed. Seeing someone who looks exectly like someone you entrusted your life with and suddenly left you for good with no goodbyes is just too much to excitement bear--too much that you would do anything to get you closer to the person. Even if it would mean scratching the scar and letting it bleed once again.

--that i did not invent anything. I am a creative writing and literature major so I am practically spending the rest of my life weaving words, but I have not come up with this kind of a really brilliant story, if you would consider it brilliant. And that I too, thought that this only happens in TV series and Mills and Boon novels and other things except non-fiction stories. I write from experience, Merlie has not taught me yet on how to write from the yet unknown.

--that I loved her from a distance unfortunately not romantically but familial. And that although she was stunning when she crinkles her nose just like her, she wasn't girlfriend-material to me, assuming that I belonged to the third sex, which boils down to me once again clarifying that I am not. With your words, subtly, you are accusing me. But I am not.

--that I have tried resorting to hating, despising and cursing you. I thought that this may be the fastest way for me to move forward and heal myself. Afterall, it worked perfectly fine for the people I have tried eradicating in my life. For those I have chosen to erase and forget about everything I shared with them, even if my seemingly endless capacity of phonebook entries could still suffice to have their names be part of it.

--that I still have your number in my head. No matter how many times I have erased it in my phonebook, considering the gazillion times I have changed my Globe sim. It just stays. Just like when my Psychology professor Guiang asked us to forget numbers 491 some four years ago. see?

--that I have given up my dreams of becoming part of your team because it would only mean a step closer to you. and I gave up the idea that I could be healed faster when I am closer to you because you no longer inspire me, seeing you haunts me of the ghost I could never probably shoo- away .

--that slowly I am telling myself that you are not her and she is not you. For one, she was the most passionate human being I have met. THat she graciously accepted the love offered to her without allegations and much more without questions. She loved without asking why and without any doubts or malice. She loved because she was loved.

--that you may be 95% alike physically but never the same. She never judged anyone she never got to know. Never assumed and presumed someone unless she was able to prove it. And by doing this, I am exactly her opposite at this time.

--that you, you are her exact opposite.

--that I am sorry I had to do what I have done. Like I said, "just like loving, I do not know any other way how to love."

--that I still wish, that tiny little irrational voice inside me tells me, that I get to share the same network with you in Friendster, Multiply, or even Facebook--just so I could see what's your favorite movie, if you at least read any of the Neruda poems I shared and liked it, if you joined the rallies in UP back in your college years, if you also think that Gloria should step down from her office and a lot more from what I could see from a distance.

--that I would only give up my current post if and only if, I realized that I am ready to walk on, and maybe look back from time to time but would no longer be pained by what I am seeing and what I would no longer be seeing for the rest of my stay here...

--that I will still keep my promise, "i will remember you for the rest of my life; and if I grow old and my braincells degenerate, I will still have my heart to back it up..."